Pushing Through is the ONLY Option

There is a definite ebb and flow in life. I’m currently in a season of hardships and pain. The past few weeks have been pretty rough for me. I'm usually able to push through without issue, but it has been quite tricky as of late. Life has been throwing so many things my way. Just when I think things can't get any worse, they do precisely that. To be clear, this isn't a pity party. I'm merely painting a picture for you.

The chips are down, but I'm not really stressed or depressed. I'm tired for sure. I'm not hopeless. I honestly feel like life has prepared me for times like this. I have been through so much in this life. Some things have been worse than these. Some not so much. The walls are closing in, but giving up is not an option. I owe it to everyone and, most importantly, myself to keep moving. People are depending on me. I’m depending on me. This isn't a burden. It's not pressure. I don't know if I'd call it motivation either. Let's call it my paramount obligation. It just...is.

Even in these most trying times, I still find a way to keep it all together even when teetering on edge. Earlier when I said that it has been difficult to push through, I guess I should've said that it has required more management lately. Pushing through is the only option I have. I'm equipped to handle any and everything that is thrown my way. Will it be easy? No. Although it wears me down at times, I don't know if I even want it to be easy. My experiences have molded me and shall continue to do just that.

I wrote this a few weeks back. I’m not sure exactly what I was dealing with on that particular day, but every single word lines up with how I’m feeling right now. I’ve decided to share it since I’ve haven’t posted in a bit. My focus has been entirely on making it through each day. Writing and sharing my thoughts fell by the wayside. My goal is to start a daily or weekly writing practice. I’m sure it will help with decompressing and relieving stress. I hope that I’ll be able to help someone in the process.

Originally published on Lost in Birmingham, December 14, 2018