Don’t Skip the Tutorial

You know that moment in a new game when the tutorial screen pops up? Most of us hit “Skip” without thinking twice. We’ve played games before. We know how this works. Left stick to move, A to jump, right trigger to shoot. We don’t need some slow, hand-holding walkthrough telling us what we already know. Then ten minutes later, we’re stuck. Game over. We might be confused about which button opens the inventory or how the stamina system operates. Suddenly, we’re searching online for basic mechanics that we could’ve learned in just 60 seconds if we had paid attention.

Life works in a similar way. Many people skip the foundational work because it feels too slow, too basic, or too beneath them. They enter therapy seeking tools and techniques without first doing the deeper, necessary work. They dive into advanced workouts without mastering proper form. They start diets without understanding their relationship with food. They chase immediate results without building sustainable habits. Then they wonder why they keep encountering the same obstacles, failing at the same tasks, and losing the same battles.

The Problem: Why We Skip

So why do we do this to ourselves?

It starts with impatience. Therapy can feel like it’s moving at a crawl, and self-help books often repeat concepts we think we already understand. We desire advanced strategies, life hacks, and shortcuts to healing. The basics seem like a waste of time when we could be “leveling up.” Then there’s the issue of ego: “I already know this.” We believe we’ve moved beyond the beginner stage. We’ve read articles, listened to podcasts, and made it this far. Surely, we don’t need to start from square one. We’re ready for the advanced course, thank you very much.

What lies beneath all of this? Pain avoidance. The foundational work forces you to confront uncomfortable truths. It pushes you to examine patterns you’ve been avoiding, sit with feelings you’ve been running from, and acknowledge where you truly are rather than where you wish to be. It’s easier to jump ahead than to face what’s difficult. Moreover, our culture reinforces this behavior. Hustle culture rewards speed over depth. We are expected to move quickly, scale fast, and optimize everything. Foundational work doesn’t look impressive on social media; no one celebrates going back to basics. So, we skip ahead, thinking we’re being efficient when, in reality, we’re just setting ourselves up for failure.

People often walk into therapy wanting tools and techniques without engaging in deeper work. They seek a five-step process to fix anxiety without exploring its origins. They want communication scripts without examining their attachment patterns. They desire cheat codes without learning the game.

It doesn’t work that way.

The Cost: What Happens When You Skip

So, what actually happens when you bypass the basics?

First, you keep hitting the same walls. Without understanding the mechanics, you keep encountering the same problems wearing different faces. Different job, same burnout. Different relationship, same patterns. You think you’re moving forward, but you’re just grinding against the same level with a new coat of paint. Then the burnout hits harder. You’re fighting battles without the right tools or framework. Every challenge feels more difficult than it should because you’re missing the fundamentals. You’re trying to speedrun a game you don’t actually know how to play, and it’s exhausting.

Eventually, you lose trust in the process itself. When things don’t go as planned, you start blaming the system. You might think therapy doesn’t work, self-improvement is a scam, and growth is impossible. The harsher truth is that you skipped the foundational steps that would have given you what you needed. And here’s the kicker: you will have to go back and learn those fundamentals anyway. But now it’s even more challenging because you’ve built bad habits on a weak foundation. You need to unlearn before you can truly learn. You must demolish before you can rebuild.

This pattern is common. People often move from therapist to therapist, book to book, and framework to framework, wondering why nothing seems to work. They’re not failing because the methods themselves are ineffective. They’re failing because they keep bypassing the foundational work that makes those methods successful. They want results without putting in the effort. They seek transformation without discomfort. They desire healing without experiencing hurt.

That’s not how any of this works.

The Lesson: What the Tutorial Actually Teaches

But here’s what most people miss about foundational work.

The tutorial isn’t wasting your time. It’s teaching you the controls, mechanics, and language you’ll need when things become complicated. It demonstrates how the system works, allowing you to navigate it effectively when the stakes are higher. Without that foundation, you’re simply guessing. And mastery? Mastery requires repetition. You don’t get better by just knowing the theory. You improve by practicing the basics until they become second nature. It should become instinctive.

The tutorial also highlights your knowledge gaps. It shows you what you don’t know, which is far more valuable than pretending you are fully informed. You can’t address what you can’t identify. Foundational work makes these gaps visible, enabling you to tackle them rather than circumventing the issues. Most importantly, foundational work compounds over time. Investing time in understanding yourself, your patterns, triggers, and values can save you years of frustration. If you skip this step, you risk capping your growth early and reaching a ceiling you might not even realize you’ve created for yourself.

When I committed to the foundational work in therapy, I understood its significance. It wasn’t because it was easy or quick, but because it provided a framework for everything that followed. The early sessions felt basic, the exercises seemed simple, and the conversations progressed slowly, yet they were building something I didn’t even know I needed. For instance, by understanding my childhood experiences, I was able to recognize and change certain destructive patterns in my adult life.

The work felt slow. But it worked.

The Practice: How to Actually Do the Work

So how do you actually stay engaged with the basics when everything in you wants to skip ahead?

Start by naming the tutorial you’re in. Start by naming the tutorial you’re in. It could be therapy, learning a new skill, or figuring out why your relationships keep following the same script. Whatever the case may be, call it what it is. Foundational work. The basics. The part you can’t skip. Then embrace the grind. Accept that it will feel slow. That’s not a bug, it’s a feature. Speed will come later, after you have built a solid foundation. For now, you are learning the mechanics. Allow it to be slow and repetitive; that’s where real learning occurs.

Track your small wins along the way. The tutorial teaches through repetition, not sudden revelations. You’re not looking for big breakthroughs. You’re looking for small, consistent progress. Celebrate that. Notice when you catch yourself responding differently or when something clicks that didn’t before. Don’t hesitate to revisit material when needed. Even experienced players go back to the tutorial. There’s no shame in relearning. Revisiting the basics is part of the growth process. Practicing skills learned early on keeps them sharp. Mastery doesn’t mean you’ll never need the basics again. It means you know them so well that you can return to them at any time.

Finally, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Seek guidance from mentors, therapists, and coaches. Allow someone who has been through the journey to help you understand what truly matters. You don’t have to figure this out alone, nor are you meant to.

The Work You Can’t Skip

You can’t rush personal growth. You can’t bypass the process of healing. You can’t skip the essential journey of discovering who you are, how you function, and what you truly need.

The tutorial isn’t the game itself, but without it, you’ll never truly participate. You’ll keep struggling at the first level, wondering why everyone else seems to have it all figured out.

So here’s the question: What tutorial are you trying to skip right now? What foundational work are you avoiding because it feels too slow, too basic, or too uncomfortable? And what would it look like if you actually engaged with it?

Not because it’s impressive.

Not because it’s fast.

But because it’s the only way forward that actually works.

You can’t skip the tutorial. But you can decide to take it seriously.

That’s where the real game begins.