Debt Boss: Level One

Have you ever unlocked your phone and noticed a notification from your bank, credit card company, or loan servicer? That moment before you decide to take a peek or swipe it away can be quite telling.

I’ve experienced this more times than I can count. I’ve had my share of staring at balances that feel overwhelming and reading statements that evoke memories I’d rather forget. Those numbers represent far more than just money. They reflect choices I’ve made, unforeseen emergencies, and a past I’m eager to move away from.

Debt isn’t just a number on a screen. It carries a weight. It can bring stress into every space you occupy and stir feelings of shame when others discuss their goals and achievements. It can be a barrier that holds you back from reaching your full potential, leaving you focused on staying afloat rather than thriving.

I’ve fought many battles in my life, against depression, anxiety, self-doubt, and career transitions. I know how to dig in and get the work done. But this battle is different because it’s both visible and invisible. People may not see the weight you’re carrying, but they notice the choices you make because of it.

Welcome to Level One.

How Debt Becomes the Boss You Can’t Ignore

Debt is always there, even when you’re not actively thinking about it. It’s like a program running in the background that you can’t close. It’s affecting the decisions you make without you even realizing it. Can I afford this? Should I say yes to that? What if something breaks? What if someone needs help? What if I lose this income stream?

It compounds. Interest accumulates, late fees pile up, and opportunities slip away because you lack the bandwidth or resources to seize them. The longer you avoid addressing it, the stronger it becomes. It levels up while you’re still pretending it’s not there.

Debt becomes tied to your identity. It makes you feel like a failure, as if you’re falling behind everyone else, like you’re not doing life right. You see other people discussing investments, savings goals, and vacations, while you’re just trying to get through the month without adding to the balance.

It isolates you. People don’t openly discuss money struggles. We’ll share our relationship problems, career frustrations, and even mental health battles, but debt remains hidden. You end up feeling like you are the only one fighting this battle, which makes it even harder to keep showing up.

Here’s what finally made it click for me. This isn’t just about the money. It’s about freedom. It’s about peace of mind. It’s about having options instead of just reacting to whatever life throws your way. It’s about building something rather than constantly trying to survive.

For me, the breaking point wasn’t dramatic. It was quiet. I was sitting at my desk, going through my routine in MoneyWiz, the financial app I’ve used for years. I was paying bills, crossing them off one by one, adding each expense, and watching the available balance decrease, lower and lower. Then it hit me. All I was doing was paying bills. I wasn’t reaching my savings goals. I wasn’t contributing to my future. I was merely managing expenses month after month, watching money come in and go out again. Something had to give.

What Staying in Denial Takes From You

The cost of avoidance isn’t just financial. It encompasses everything else that comes with it.

It consumes your mental bandwidth. The constant low-level stress of always calculating, worrying, and avoiding weighs you down, even when you’re trying to concentrate on something else. It strains your relationships, as money stress seeps into every aspect of your life. Arguments that arise often aren’t really about the surface issues but stem from underlying financial strain. Shame prevents you from being honest about your actual situation.

Avoidance also robs you of opportunities. You can’t invest in yourself, your family, or your future because you are too busy managing past mistakes. Every dollar is already spoken for before it even hits your account. It impacts your health. Stress affects your sleep, eating habits, and overall well-being. Financial anxiety isn’t just a mental issue. It’s a problem that affects your entire body. I’ve had sleepless nights because my mind kept racing with financial numbers.

The most challenging aspect is the illusion of control. You tell yourself you will handle it later when you receive that raise or tax refund, but “later” keeps getting pushed back. Debt isn’t waiting. It’s growing.

What hurts the most, however, is the sense of loss for experiences you can’t reclaim.

There have been so many moments like this over the years, but three recent ones showed me what this was really costing me. The first cuts the deepest. I won’t be able to take my son to an Alabama Crimson Tide game this year. I had planned to take him to at least one game each season for the next few years. Building that tradition and sharing those experiences with him mattered deeply to me, but financial realities won’t allow it.

The second moment came when Sharrod, my brother from another mother, asked if I wanted to go to the Atlanta Hawks game. He’d found floor seats at a great price. Was it a necessity? No. Would it have been an incredible experience to share with one of the people I’m closest to? Absolutely. I had to say no because of my financial situation. The third instance was when I had to skip homecoming at my alma mater. Even though the cost wasn’t high, I knew that money needed to be allocated elsewhere for something more urgent.

What hit me hardest about these situations wasn’t the events themselves but the time I was missing with the people who matter most to me. That’s different than not being able to buy a new gadget or upgrade my car. This feeling is different from not being able to afford a new gadget or upgrade my car. It’s about connection, about showing up for relationships, and about building lasting memories. Debt was preventing me from doing that.

Choosing to Enter the Arena

Here’s the thing. I’ve always had access to the information. Every account, every balance, every interest rate, and every minimum payment have been sitting in my Notion app, organized and updated. I wasn’t avoiding the numbers. I was avoiding the action.

Entering the arena wasn’t about finally facing the full picture. I had been staring at it for a while. It was about doing more than just tracking. It was about taking actual steps to correct my situation and ultimately bring all these balances to zero.

I named the enemy: credit cards and unsecured credit accounts. Each one comes with its own balance, its own interest rate, and its own monthly reminder of the weight I’m still carrying. But the debt itself wasn’t the only enemy. There were the monthly subscriptions that didn’t add any value to my life, quietly draining my account. Then there was the excessive amount of money I spent at restaurants, trading convenience for progress. I knew the cost in the moment, but I chose to ignore it. Checking my Dining category in MoneyWiz made it hard to dismiss the actual numbers.

I had to release the shame. This was harder than anything else. Because it’s easy to spiral into the story of “I should have known better. I should have done better. I should have been smarter.” But shame doesn’t help you move forward. It just keeps you stuck. The truth is, life happened. Bad decisions were made. I chose to spend passively, even though I had all the information right in front of me. I was tracking everything, yet watching the numbers change without truly acting on what they were telling me. Now, I’m choosing to move forward.

I had to accept the timeline. There isn’t a quick fix. There’s no magic bullet, no secret hack, and no overnight transformation. This is a long grind. But it’s a grind with a finish line, and that matters.

I had to decide it was worth it. What does winning this fight actually give me? Freedom. Real freedom, not just the word but the feeling. Peace of mind. Options. The ability to say yes to opportunities without checking my account first. The ability to take my son to those Alabama games. The ability to build something new instead of constantly repairing something broken.

What finally made me say, “Enough is enough”? Honestly, it was realizing that no one was coming to save me. There’s no rescue mission for this. No one is going to swoop in and fix it. This is my fight, and I am the only one who can decide to step into the arena.

So I did.

Level One in Action

Level One isn’t about winning. It’s about showing up with a strategy and committing to the process. Here’s what that entails:

Get the Full Inventory

Start by listing everything: every account, every balance, every interest rate, and every minimum payment. You can’t develop a strategy without understanding the entire landscape. This step may feel overwhelming, but it’s essential. Write it down or create a spreadsheet to visualize everything at once. You need to know precisely what you’re dealing with. Hiding from it only makes it grow more daunting.

Choose Your Approach

Select a method and stick with it. The debt snowball method focuses on paying off the smallest balances first for quick wins to maintain motivation, while the avalanche method prioritizes paying off debts with the highest interest rates, saving you more money over time. Both work. Choose the one that keeps you in the fight. The best strategy is the one you will actually follow through on, not necessarily the one that seems ideal on paper. There is no wrong choice here. Just choose the method that matches how you’re wired.

Build a Baseline Budget

Know what’s coming in, what’s going out, and what remains available to tackle your debt. Avoid guessing and hoping. Use actual numbers in a straightforward spreadsheet. Nothing fancy, just honest. Track your expenses for at least a month if you haven’t already. You need to see where your money is actually going, not where you think it’s going. The gap between those two things is usually where the problem lives.

Automate What You Can

Set up automatic payments for the minimum amounts due on all your accounts. Focus your extra payments on one account at a time. This reduces the need to remember payments, make decisions, or depend on willpower every month. Make it sustainable. Automation removes the emotional aspect from the process. You’re simply following the structure you established when you had clarity. Consistency is what moves the needle.

Find Your Accountability

Share your goals with someone, whether it’s a partner, a friend who has experienced a similar journey, a therapist, or a financial coach. Don’t try to navigate this alone. Isolation makes everything more complicated. Having a community, even if it’s just one person, makes the journey more manageable.

I enlisted the help of a friend who has found success in her own financial journey. We started having weekly discussions to review my expenses, budget, and goals. She has access to all my account information, which keeps me honest and accountable. It’s harder to make excuses when someone else can see the whole picture.

Celebrate Little Wins

When you pay off an account, take a moment to acknowledge your achievement. Even if the balance wasn’t large, it’s still one less account to manage and one less statement to worry about. Progress is progress. Don’t wait until all your debts are settled to recognize your accomplishments. The journey is long, and you need to celebrate those moments to stay motivated. Mark the milestones, even small ones. They add up.

Prepare for Setbacks

Life can be unpredictable. Car repairs, unexpected bills, and other surprises can arise. You’ll need to adjust your plan accordingly. The key is not allowing one setback to derail your overall strategy. Flexibility isn’t failure. It’s a part of survival. If possible, build some buffer into your budget or maintain a modest emergency fund, even if it’s just a few hundred dollars, to handle those unexpected events. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s about making progress, even when things don’t go as planned.

This Is Hard, and That’s Okay

I need to be honest with you, and with myself, about something. Progress is slow. You’re not going to see dramatic changes overnight. Some months you’ll make real headway. Other months, you’ll barely move. Both are part of the process. I’m still in the early stages of this journey, so I’m learning this in real time.

The sacrifices are real. Right now, you’re saying no to certain things so that you can say yes to better opportunities in the future. This requires discipline that doesn’t always feel good. I’ve had to skip events I wanted to attend, find creative ways to enjoy free or low-cost alternatives, and sit with the discomfort of delayed gratification.

Be mindful that comparing yourself to others can harm your progress. Other people’s financial situations, spending habits, and freedoms are none of your business. Focus on your own journey, timeline, and progress.

There will be moments when you want to quit. You might face weeks when it seems pointless, looking at the remaining balance and wondering, “What’s the point of even trying?" That’s when the strategy matters most. It’s during these challenging times that showing up and putting in the effort really counts.

What’s the hardest part for me? Patience. I can be patient with most things in life, but when it comes to this journey, I want the balance to reach zero immediately. I need to become more comfortable with watching progress move slowly, so I don’t make hasty decisions to reduce balances faster than is realistically possible. The progress is not invisible, but it can feel extremely slow, like molasses going uphill in winter (pardon my southern vernacular).

Reframing the Fight

Here’s what I keep reminding myself. I’m not broken. I’m in a fight. Fighters aren’t failures. They are people who choose to step into the arena rather than avoid it. This debt doesn’t define me. It’s something I’m working through, not who I am. It’s just a chapter, not the whole story.

Every payment I make is an investment in my future self. I’m buying back my freedom, my peace, and my options. I’m building the life I truly want instead of just managing the one I feel stuck in. I’m learning important skills, including budgeting, discipline, delayed gratification, and the ability to make a plan and stick to it even when it’s difficult. These skills aren’t just financial. They apply to every area of life.

There’s honor in this fight. Facing your debt, being honest about your situation, and committing to the grind even when no one’s watching takes courage. Don’t underestimate that.

Looking Ahead

This isn’t a victory post. I’m writing this from the midst of the fight, not from the other side of it. Level One is about showing up, developing a strategy, and committing to the grind. The Debt Boss isn’t defeated yet, but I’m no longer avoiding the arena. I’m learning the mechanics, building discipline, and preparing for the long game.

If you’re standing at the edge of this fight, wondering if you can do it, the answer is yes. But you have to start.

Level One begins the moment you stop avoiding and start moving.